Correct or improve the translation of the following English sent

Correct or improve the translation of the following English sentences.原文：When he had climbed the hill above the field he looked back. He could see the white shapes of the girls dancing on the grass. 译文：只要他爬上小山，就回头向下看。似乎能看到姑娘们的白色身影在草地上舞动。改译：
【正确答案】：

他爬上小山坡，回头向下看，看到姑娘们的白色身影在草地上舞动。

【题目解析】：when......在此不能译作”只要......就......”，这里是描述一个场景，平铺直叙就可以。所以按照动作的顺序，他爬上小山坡，回头向下看， 看到姑娘们的白色身影在草地上舞动。